Chuck a Ring on me & Get me Pregnant

The pressures of getting hitched and then having babies!

I know the title is definitely a scroll stopper. I believe many people can relate to the lines "Oh when are you going to get married?" and "When is the first little one going to come along?" These pressure-filled questions always make my eye twitch. Being of the LDS faith we are taught about eternal marriage and families which I agree with wholeheartedly. But I feel this heavy underlining persistence to get married and have children as soon as possible.

I'm a firm believer that everyone progresses at their own pace as they trek through the journey of life. That there is this constant rush and expectation to finish the checklist of graduating from university, being finically stable, owning a home, getting married and having children. Which are all wonderful goals to pursue if that's what you want. But I also feel it limits you to an extent of experiencing the joys of living with a different approach. I feel we shouldn't exist in a bubble that prevents us from exploring other opportunities that may fit our lifestyle more organically.

Also is it just me or is it hard to find someone you genuinely connect with nowadays. I know I haven't found someone yet but I'm okay with that. I feel it is more important to focus on self-growth and fulfilment. Personally, I want to be thriving, I want to be glowing in all areas of my life. When we are projecting this energy, we naturally attract people that are similar to us. I want to surround myself with people that are positive and have such a thought-provoking outlook on life. What I like to do to stay on top of my personal growth is creating goals for different areas in my life. These are values I prioritise, for example, spirituality, emotionally, mentally, physically, finically, occupation and relationships. With these categories, it's clearer and more focused on what you need to spend more love and care on. I've learnt that this is a great form to self evaluate and reflect on what areas you're succeeding in and where you are not. Don't be afraid to call yourself out if you're not hitting the mark. How else are you meant to grow if you don't know what needs more watering or what needs to be moved to a sunnier spot.

Moving on to pressure which is such a core factor to this topic. Pressure is linked to the word time which I feel is also linked to the word moment. How are you spending your moments? As I mentioned earlier the pressures of accomplishing life can be so daunting and draining. What are the criteria considered for accomplishing life? Society has this expectation of what I'm meant to accomplish to make me feel valid and successful. I just need to know for myself what that looks like for me. For me, it's what brings me happiness when I'm living and appreciating the moments of my life. Living purely in the moment and experiencing what life has so preciously given me can be enlightening. It leads to timing which is so vital because you never know the full capacity of what your actions have on your life. Being married and having children should never be something pressured. Depending on the circumstances the timing should feel right with the person you meet and most importantly yourself.

I've come to the stage in my life where I'm content. Naturally and logically I would like to find an eternal companion and start a family. I know that with time, patience and trust, what I'm seeking will make its way into my life one way or another. The moments I experience will align many times throughout my lifetime and how exciting is that. Be proactive with your approach don't be idle. Push yourself to your limit, out of your comfort zone, question what you want in your life! Take the opportunities that wander on your path, you never know where they may lead you. I'm so grateful for this life that I get to live, I enjoy so many aspects and I can't help but smile. So hopefully people will stop asking me when I'm getting a boyfriend haha! He's coming don't you worry!

Arohanui Tiara xx