Cheating. Lets Talk About It.

My experience with cheating and how I've dealt with it.

Cheating is a touchy and passionately upsetting subject for most. Especially for the person that was cheated on. I have been in two relationships so far in my twenty-three laps around the sun. Both of my ex's ended it with me, but both have taught me numerous lesson on life which I'm thankful for.

Let's begin. I'm not going into specifics because that is not what I want to focus on. I want to share with you how I overcame this experience. I guess you could say I was lucky that he came out front and just told me what happened. But boy, it does not lessen the pain. He gave me his reasons which I felt were just excuses. The anger inside me was indescribable, I was angry at him and the woman he was with. I could not understand how she could do such an act when she knew he was taken. Honestly, ladies if you know he's taken don't do it. It just shows the kind of character you are.

First thing is to get some space from each other. I went and stayed at a friend's house, the best decision you could make. You need space to breathe and make some rationalized decisions that aren't based on your emotions. The emotions will be running high, the betrayal and hurt I felt was something I wanted to experience without him there. It also gives you time to think without the toxicity floating around you. The clarity of your mind is what is necessary for you to make the best decision for you in the relationship.

What I found helpful was talking to a few close friends about it. I was particular with who because I did not want judgement, just pure support for whatever decision I made. You know, I wanted someone to make that decision for me but honey that is not how it works. For me, I woke up the next day and still felt there was hope in the relationship. Others may cut the relationship off then and there. Everyone is different and that's okay. The decision you make will feel right, call it your intuition. People may wonder why I went back to him and that answer is simple. I still loved him and I also forgive easily.

Once we were back together the cracks were still ever so much present. I think we just tried to patch it up with tape. Obviously, that didn't work. Long story short I had forgiven him but I couldn't forget what happened. The trust was broken and I don't think he took into consideration my feelings. Once the trust is broken it's not going back to normal. It takes time and compassion from both ends to assist with the healing process. I didn't feel that from him at all, it seemed like a joke to him. It was toxic and I couldn't be with someone that treated me like dirt on the sidewalk. The relationship ended with a fight and me packing up my things and leaving. Best decision I could have made.

Time is a healer for all things. I've embraced this opportunity to grow and learn what I'm capable of. Everything that happens in life is purposeful and it's the perspective of how you frame that circumstance. I have the agency to choose what I want to do with my life. To nourish and nurture my soul with positivity, love and kindness. This is the time to meditate on my self-growth. To thrive and shine my divine femininity. I'm beginning to realize who I am, and that's a wonderful thing.

Arohanui Tiara x